The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in effective sensations of attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and closeness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in urban areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger my website relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, values, look at this site requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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