The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective feelings of destination, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in metropolitan areas, click here for more info sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I presume this is a my review here ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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