The Sex Lure, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings tremendous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural visit this page state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to incredibly tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urbane areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, Find Out More you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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