The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, making love brings immense meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on i thought about this the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and closeness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy content and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cities, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay males desire to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus useful content on your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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