The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of destination, excitement, nearness, well-being, and a fantastic read love .

However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably click reference wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that numerous of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urban areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than Bonuses a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar